Plan B

Go Big or Go Bust: Day 212 (on the unlikely path to my Oprah moment of surrender)

I've known for a while that I have to be beaten to a pulp before I give up.  And I have Good News.  In spite of my bull-like ability to dig in my heels and resist surrender, compounded by my oxen-like strength, everything seems to have shifted. 

Was it the no-see-um bugs who invaded my studio and brought me to a new level of gratitude for the little things in life like a bug-free bedroom?  Or was it the almost-nine divine hours of sleep last night which put a less desperate spin on the fact that Plan B seemed to be stalled-out-in-the-starting-gate if not in active implosion.  Whatever.  My forty-eight hour temper tantrum has dissipated like a morning mist.  I worked in a workman-like way all day and then dragged Mr. Green off to the swimming hole. 

After a vigorous swim upstream battling the current

After a vigorous swim upstream battling the current

We returned home to a surprise:  it's possible that, in surrender, I too had my Oprah moment.  No, Spielberg didn't call to offer me a part but I wasn't hoping for that.  Instead, I heard from someone who I'd figured was speaking for everyone in the industry in writing off The Louise Log  (and me) without the courtesy of even a rejection email.  He'd injured his back soon after our first exchange, had been loopy on heavy pain killers ever since and thought he'd emailed. 

I did see a bird near the house, this morning, with a vividly blue tail.  THE BLUEBIRD OF HAPPINESS??  Hmm.  Probably more like the no-see-ums of happiness. 

Go Big or Go Bust: Day 207 (on The Sundance Episodic Lab decision)

So I got the email from Sundance which included the words "disappointing news" and "regretfully". 

It helps that it was the kindest rejection letter ever.  And it stings less to know that we were apparently *close* to being chosen.

Still. 

I'm dealing with it by doing something I have total control over - moving my entire office outside so I can vacuum and paint the floor with some kind of sealer (to minimize the concrete dust).  And throwing the switch on Plan B. 

Mr. Green snapped this shot as I write this post. 

Mr. Green snapped this shot as I write this post. 

Woops.  Guess I don't actually have as much control as I thought.  The sky opened up and it started raining on my outdoor office ... which, has since turned into a full-on torrential thunderstorm.   Life is just full of big and little surprises.  And I have to remind myself that I do love a surprise.   

loading into the car.jpg



Go Big or Go Bust: Day 202 (on Steven Spielberg, the Sundance Lab, a boatload of family visitors and a Plan B)

I've read that Steven Spielberg gets his best ideas driving.  I apparently get mine working as a short order cook, chamber maid, and dish washer for a boat load of family visiting for the weekend. 

It's Sunday night, everybody's gone home and  I'VE GOT A PLAN B!  Sundance or no Sundance, it's all going to work out.  Thank you again for that tsunami of love showing me the way to accept that I have no control, to have faith and to LET GO.